Indifference

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Free Yourself of Toxic People

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Everyone knows them, people who are not Healthy  to be around.  They suck the energy out of a room, they are negative, pessimistic, naysayers who are full of doom and gloom and never have a nice thing to say about anyone

They may be your friends, your family, people you work with or go to school with.  No one and no thing is ever good enough for them.  They are usually self-absorbed (though not always)

Sometimes we can just cut them off, physically, emotionally, remove all contact with them from your life.  But it’s not so easy to do if you have to live or work with them.

These people suck the life out of you, they are mentally exhausting to be around. Sometimes their behavior and speech is deliberate; to bring others down. Other times, they may not even know they are doing it, or have been doing it for so long it’s just become a habit

Psychologists tell us that ‘people treat you how you teach them to treat you’, sometimes this may well be true, and if that is the case, you can teach people how to treat you nicer.

  • Say no to invitations to be with them
  • Set clear, defined boundaries
  • Let them know their behavior is not acceptable
  • You won’t be spending any more time with them unless their behavior changes
  • It’s not negotiable

If you live with them, and you don’t feel a conversation would be productive:

  • Walk away and shut the door
  • Retreat to another room and physically distance yourself from them

If you do it often enough and they want to be around you, they will more than likely take a hint.  It takes a pretty ballsy person to walk through a closed-door without knocking first.  If they ask what is wrong, or start throwing a hissy fit, calmly say, that you are not going to be treated like this/ spoken to like that until they can speak nicely, they won’t be able to have the pleasure of your company

Swearing/cursing, yelling at them to F* off isn’t the answer, it just fuels their fire

You can’t control other people, you can control how you react to them

You can’t demand respect if you haven’t earned it

If you treat people the right way, they generally will reciprocate

  • Don’t get sucked into their drama
  • Pull them into your peace

You don’t have to be friends with these people

If they stress you out knowing they will be home soon, or when you meet up with them, or every time you have been with them you have a headache, know that they are also causing stress on your body which can cause illness, stress, inflammation, stiff joints because your cortisol levels are rising (the stress hormone) every time you at around them

For your own Health & sanity, eliminate spending time with them

If you don’t live with them, the solution is simple, don’t give them the time of day, reserve your energy for those who deserve your company, it’s ok to say NO I can’t meet you for lunch, I don’t want to go out, I have other plans…your ‘other plan’ is to have peace and quiet, you don’t have to lie or hurt their feelings, be tactful

So what drives these people? INSECURITY

They are insecure, unhappy people who only feel good about themselves when they are puting others down.  They don’t mind if you fail, they don’t encourage you to be your best.  They are quick to point out all your flaws and make you feel ‘less than’

You need to stop giving them a room to rent in your mind, your heart, your life, raise the rent & serve them a metaphorical  eviction notice, you are kicking them out.

When you start hanging around positive people who are happy for you, who lift you up and only want the very best for you, you will become a much more positive, confident, happier person yourself

If they are people you work with, be cordial, polite but don’t let them rope you into conversations you don’t feel good about

They aren’t going to change, but remember, you can change your reaction to them

If they put you down or say hurtful things, ask them not to

Change the subject to something positive

If you have to,  excuse yourself and go to the restroom, go get a drink of water, don’t engage them or spend any more time or conversation with them than is absolutely necessary to do your job

If they are your supervisor or boss, you always have an Allie in Human Resources

 

 

Keeping Company

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Silence hurts…

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10 Steps to Happiness

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1. Speak Positively

You will never be Happy if you speak negatively about yourself and others all the time

We get into a habit of doing it

Changing this one thing, will bring more positivity into your life

People will want to be around you more, new opportunities will open up to you

You will learn to appreciate the good in people and things around you and more importantly, appreciate your good qualities rather than fixating on the bad

If you can’t find one good thing about yourself or your situation, you need to think of ten more

 

 

2. Look Forward

What happens if you look behind you when you are walking? You can’t see where you are going for one, you may crash into something, trip & fall,  or endanger yourself

Life is the same, if you keep looking in the past, you won’t ever be able to see the future and all the good things that are ahead of you

Leave the past where it belongs, it’s done. No matter how much you worry about it, you can’t change it

Start looking forward and you will see good things and opportunities heading your way

 

 

3. Open your mind

If you put a limit on yourself and what you believe you can achieve, that’s all you will achieve

If you open your mind and start to believe that anything is possible, everything will be possible

 

 

4. Compliment Others

Instead of complaining about everyone and everything that is going wrong, try complimenting others

When it is done sincerely, it not only lifts the other person’s spirits, but your own as well

You shift negative energy into positive and what you put out into the world,  comes back to you

 

 

5. Accept Responsibility

Stop blaming others. Start accepting your part in the equation.  Accept responsibility for things you have done or said

It goes a long way toward others respecting you and self healing

 

 

6. Embrace Change

Change isn’t easy.  We get into our comfort zone, whatever that may be.  Sometimes negativity is our normal.  Change takes courage.  You are stepping outside what makes you comfortable.  But if you don’t embrace change, you will stay stuck right where you are, nothing will ever change,  and you will never grow

 

 

7. Impress Yourself

Instead of trying to impress everyone else around you, impress yourself

Become the person you want others to see you as

When you impress others, they don’t really care as much about you as you want them to, it is fleeting, it doesn’t last

When you seek to impress yourself, you can be proud of your achievements all the time, that feeling of accomplishment is with you always

 

 

8. Approve of Yourself

Stop seeking external approval from others, and start approving yourself.  If you don’t  like yourself, you can’t expect others to like you or approve of you

When you learn to appreciate the amazing person you are, you don’t need approval from others

 

 

 9.Learn from Mistakes

Don’t beat yourself up so much if you make mistakes.  If you didn’t make any mistakes, you wouldn’t be able to learn from them and grow as a person

 

 

10. Take the High Road

Don’t be in a rush to always be right all the time.  No one ever is.  Being right isn’t worth losing friends and family over.  Agree to disagree, respect others have opinions that are not the same as yours and move on

People are only going to see a situation from their perspective and maturity level.  Once you come to this realization, you learn that they won’t understand what you understand, or perceive things the same way as you do

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