My Wake Up Call

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via Daily Prompt: Baby

You were my wake up call

had to get up early

to paint the museum

three years hoping, trying

waiting for you

In your own sweet time

you were in no rush

to make your presence felt

God has a sense of humor

that’s for sure

I’m up, I’m awake

Nine months and two days late

a trip to the Hardware store

Everything was ready

Nurse wouldn’t believe me

you were coming

“plenty of time, dear”

wrong again

no one listens

why won’t anyone believe me?

you couldn’t wait

a moment longer

“here I am”

Good thing she can catch

“you really weren’t kidding, were you”

Now will you listen to me?

Blonde hair

blue eyes

here we go…

The most excited brother in the world

protected your every move

so kind

so gentle

Climbing as soon as you knew you how

always trying to get ‘out’

The messier

the better

You didn’t care

you thought it was funny

painting your face

with an icecream cone

Cute, smart alec, the noisy one

always demanding attention

show off of the two

The first time you felt the sand

it was ‘squishy” between your toes

Icicles were mesmerizing,

cold and

‘ouchy”

You loved chasing “sqrills”

riding your first bike

You were Loud and messy

that hasn’t changed

Demanding, exhausting,

quiet and enduring

Still making your presence felt

wanting to “right” what’s wrong with the world

You might just be the one to do it

You have the tenacity, the gumption

the sheer sass to succeed

to be ‘somebody’

who’s going to make a difference

Off to college in a few short months

I can’t even…

Where did the time go?

How did we get here

this fast?

And the Award goes to…

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In Honor of the Oscars:

 

ACTOR IN A LEADING ROLE:

My husband – for his Role in  “Bringing Home the Bacon”

 

ACTOR IN A SUPPORTING ROLE:

My Best Friend -For his role of always being there “Supporting the Single, Stressed out Parent”

 

ACTRESS IN A LEADING ROLE:

Me -Pretending to know what I am doing “23 Years of Motherhood”

 

ACTRESS IN A SUPPORTING ROLE:

Grandma – For her role of The shoulder to Cry on “When shit gets real”

 

ANIMATED FEATURE FILM:

“Life”

 

BEST PICTURE:

Kids Feeding each other to Alligators, Florida 2007

 

CINEMATOGRAPHY:

Me – Home Videos of  “Kids being Kids”

 

COSTUME DESIGN:

Me -c. 2002-13 Annually “Halloween”

 

DIRECTING:

Me- “One Drama-filled Household”

 

DOCUMENTARY (Feature):

Me – Running Commentary “Is that Room Clean Yet?”

 

DOCUMENTARY (SHORT SUBJECT):

My Husband “Take kids to work day”

 

FILM EDITING:

Me – “No one is going to see ME looking like THAT!”

 

FOREIGN LANGUAGE FILM:

My kids – “The Teenage Years”

 

MAKEUP & HAIRSTYLING:

Me – “Christmas Day”

 

MUSIC (ORIGINAL SCORE):

Me – “Time to Let You Go”

 

MUSIC (ORIGINAL SONG):

Me – “Find Myself”

 

PRODUCTION DESIGN:

Me-“Every Five Years or So”

 

SHORT FILM (ANIMATED):

My Son – “Moving Out”

 

SHORT FILM (LIVE ACTION):

My other Son “Going to College”

 

SOUND EDITING:

My Husband “I never Swear at You”

 

SOUND MIXING:

Me -“Lower Your Voice”

 

VISUAL EFFECTS:

Me – “The Middle Finger”

 

WRITING (ADAPTED SCREENPLAY):

My Husband – “HIS Version”

 

WRITING (ORIGINAL SCREENPLAY):

Me – “The REALVersion”

 

 

 

 

 

 

Allergies

Nagging

My Eulogy

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The Editors, WordPress.com

  • 365 Days of Writing Prompts

 

January 25

  • Dearly departed
  • Write your own eulogy

I often wonder what people would say about me if I died

My husband would no doubt say I was a good mother, and while I was, I hope that is not all I was remembered for. There was/is so much more to me than just the way I have tried to raise my kids

My kids would probably say I was a control freak; not realizing that it was never my intention to ever be that way. The way I saw it,  someone had to take responsibility

I never wanted to be in charge all the time, circumstances awarded me that job. God knows there were days I would have been happy for someone else to take over, but there wasn’t really anyone to relinquish that role to

 

My best friend would probably say I was the most loyal, 
honest, trustworthy friend you could have

I cherish them with all my heart, 35 years and counting...

 

My family would say I have been through a lot, I was a nice person?…hopefully

My nieces and nephews would hopefully say I was funny and a cool Aunty…

Anyone who has ever worked with me would say I was a hard worker and went over and beyond to get things done

My youngest son would reverberate that I was good at ‘fixing things’…..an’ in’ family joke….

 

What I would like people to know is this…

I didn’t always know what I was doing, I sometimes might not have done the right thing, but I always did what I thought was right, the best thing to do at the time

I am truly sorry for any heartache I caused anyone, it was never my intention, especially my kids…

I didn’t make decisions lightly

I hope my kids will forgive me for my life choices, I hope they will forgive me for time that was taken from them and all the times they had to move and start again

I love my kids more than life itself, I always have, and always will and couldn’t be more proud to be their mum.

I am sorry if that was suffocating for you

I never wanted them to ever hurt or feel sad or ever have to worry about a thing. I wanted them to have a better life than I had growing up and I hope one day they will see that.  I tried to make sure they were afforded opportunities to be the very best they could be

I wish them nothing but love and joy and happiness…. I am sorry I never got you a puppy, I wanted to more than you will ever know

Don’t remember the drama, remember the times we laughed watching movies or comedians or the times you scared the crap out of me or the time I flipped the plate of food watching your horrible movie, all the times we went out to eat and the music you shared with me

I know you will think me writing this is still me being a control freak and having to have the last word, you don’t even know…

 

To my husband

I am sorry, if I could turn back time I would. None of us knew what life was going to be like, you wanted the Brady Bunch and probably ended up with The Adams Family…lol

My one big regret is not having TIME with you; I feel that was robbed from us.  You never got to see or know the real me. All you ever saw were the remnants of a tired, exhausted person at the end of chaos and drama.  I was not allowed to be myself. Time and circumstance would not allow it. I did love you, despite what you may think.  Life got in the way of ‘us’…we got old & tired before we were ever meant to

 

To people who have never lived with me

I see myself as a pretty Zen type of person. I don’t like noise and drama, yet it seems to keep finding me.  I am a lover, not a fighter.

I love kids and babies and wish I had probably had more.

I love the beach, photography, going to the movies, especially comedies.  I love anything ‘Indie’- music, clothes,art… I love traveling and didn’t get to do nearly enough of it

I have always been a free spirit / gypsy girl, give me an open road, a cute car with a great radio, a good camera, bootcut  jeans, bell sleeves any day of the week, shoes not required…

Asian food is my favorite, I could eat it all day every day, Chinese, Japanese, Vietnamese…yum!

Some would say I wore my heart on my sleeve, which often made others uncomfortable, I didn’t know how to be any other way, I called it being honest and real.

I really don’t care very much now what others think of me because I know who I am.  I know that people who really matter, know what I am really like.  I stopped explaining myself when I realized people will only ever see you from their own perspective and level of maturity and emotional growth

 

To my best friend, you know who you are..

I couldn’t have done ‘life’ without you and I know you know that.  You kept me going.  You made me laugh.  You gave me joy and happiness and strength and love and a sense of belonging.  You knew me better than anyone.  You saw more and heard more and cared more than my own family.  You were family to me and always will be.  There is nothing I wouldn’t do for you.  I know the same to be true for you.  Who would have thought out of all the people we knew, you and I would be the ones that remained friends when the others all fell away and forgot about us.  I cannot thank you enough. For being you, for loving me, for being there, for supporting and encouraging me, for helping me and trusting me and being the most amazing friend anyone could ever wish for. Don’t be sad I am gone, be happy for the time we knew each other

 

 

 

Sweet Sixteen

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The Editors, WordPress.com

  • 365 Days of Writing Prompts

January 21

  • Sweet sixteen
  • When you were 16, what did you think your life would look like?
  • Does it look like that?
  • Is that a good thing?

What did you think your life would look like?

At sixteen, I was madly, dearly, hopelessly in love.  I couldn’t wait to “grow up” and be a wife and mother.  I wanted to travel and see the world, I wanted nice clothes, a nice house, the fairy-tale ending

Does it look like that?

I already had my man, and I did end up marrying him and having two pretty amazing, smart, funny, kids. A fairy-tale ending though, it was not…

I stayed with my husband another 19 years, gave it all I had to give, but it wasn’t enough, and sadly ended in divorce.

I did travel a little, saw some pretty amazing places, but I have not seen a tenth of the places I would have hoped to by this age due to one reason or another.

Is that a good thing?

Be careful what you wish for, you just might get it, it’s not always what is best for you

Sixteen was a great age and time in my life, full of hope and excitement of what was yet to come, oh to be sixteen again

What would I tell my sixteen-year-old self?

  • Travel as much as you can while you have your health and energy
  • Never ever be in a rush to grow up
  • Enjoy every single moment of your teenage years and twenties
  • Never ever stop working or give up your financial independence
  • Never become dependent on another person for money or stability
  • Trust no one but yourself
  • Skip the flashy wedding and put the money towards buying a house instead
  • Spend as much time with your kids as you possibly can, they grow up faster than you could ever imagine
  • Take lots and lots and lots of family photos

 

Breaking the Law, teen style

 

drunk-1013965_640The Editors, WordPress.com

  • 365 Days of Writing Prompts

January 20

 

  • Breaking the law
  • Think about the last time you broke a rule (a big one, not just ripping the tags off your pillows)
  • Were you burned, or did things turn out for the best?

 

The only thing that comes to mind is drinking alcohol when I was younger and knew I shouldn’t.  I was at a party, offered a drink and declined. It was a boring party. I wanted to go home but the person I was with wasn’t ready to leave.  I was offered wine again and took it, it tasted ok, I didn’t really see what all the fuss was about. I knew I would be in BIG trouble if my parents found out.

My parents were not drinkers at all, my mother had never tasted alcohol.  Not sure about my father.  It was taboo in our house.  They held some warped belief that anyone who drank alcohol was an alcoholic, not true…one of the many myths my parents taught us, I believe they thought in their heart that was true, but we all learned not everything they taught us was accurate.

One drink led to two to three. I was sitting in a corner bored out of my brain getting drunk.

I got home, crashed into every wall in the house, woke up my parents, never a good move on a normal day. I went to bed and the room was spinning, went to the bathroom and threw up everywhere.

My mother was beside herself, thought the devil was in me, she yelled and cried and yelled some more.  My older know-it-all worldly brother who had zero clue, convinced my parents anyone who throws up that much must be doing drugs, WRONG AGAIN !!

I don’t remember what happened, I know I was grounded but not much else

I do know the first time my brother came home drunk was met with a very different reaction, “that’s my boy, he’s growing up” attitude from my father…

I know I disappointed my mother and it took a long time for her to believe me or trust me again, that hurt more than any punishment they could have dished out

 

 

Overworked = Motherhood

Overworked – Daily Prompt

 

I love being unappreciated, disrespected & everyone's doormat ... Said no mother ever:

Spring in September



Spring in September


Verse 1:

Time passed us by
how fast time flies
right before our very eyes
time came for us to say goodbye

Verse 2:

Crying at the airport
tears streaming down my face
oh how my heart ached
as I watched you walk away

Chorus 1:

Missing Spring in September
do you remember
walking by the sea
not a care in the world
just you and me

Verse 3:

Too many days and years between
how much pain and grief we've seen
seems just like yesterday
nearly ten years have passed since then

Verse 4:

I promise I'll be back
sweet little lady
please don't cry for me
we'll be fine
you just wait and see


Chorus 2:

Wishing for spring in September
do you remember
walking by the sea
not a care in the world
just you holding me






Written by Kathy Duff
Registered Copyright 2011

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Time to let You go

You stole my heart.jpg

“You Stole my heart” Acrylic painting by Kathy Duff ©2009

“Time to Let You Go”

Lyrics by Kathy Duff

Music & Vocals by Paramount Song

©2012

Time for you to go now,
don't want to see you leave
Trying to be strong
wipe your tears on my sleeve

Heaven came down to meet you
to guide you on your way
When it was time for you to go
you had nothing more to say

Watched you take one last breath
then watched you slip away
We know you are with us
we feel your love every day

Chorus:
Trying to get through the days
fighting hard to be strong
Grieving for ourselves
Don't know where we belong

It doesn't get any easier
being here without you
So much we never got to say
things we never got to do

We roam around in emptiness
our days are not the same
can't seem to find peace of mind
since you went away

Chorus:
Trying to get through the days
fighting hard to be strong
grieving for ourselves
don't know where we belong

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