Surviving Valentine’s Day

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Valentine’s Day is nearly upon us again.  For most of us, single or not,  it’s not filled with sweet kisses and romantic cuddles. It can be a painful reminder of losing a partner (breakup, divorce, death) or make us painfully aware we are alone when we would really prefer not to be, even married couples often feel crappy this time of the year…one person is into it, their partner is not, some have to work, some are together but have nothing in common any more or are indifferent to each other, it’s not always champagne and roses

For some who are yearning for love, or to be loved, it can be an excruciating time of year we are unable to escape, unless you are a hermit living under a rock, or an astronaut circumnavigating outer space

You just have to turn on the tv or take a trip to the mall and you are bombarded with sparklier diamonds than are ever available in a stores and retailers who are more than happy to help you part with your hard earned cash

Happy couples are everywhere you look, at the store, in restaurants, at the movies, snuggling, laughing, sneaking a kiss, holding hands… thoughts of them and your single life can reduce a normally sane person to tears and sobbing, or make you second guess yourself…

It always makes me laugh when people automatically assume single people aren’t happy, I know more miserable couples, than I know happy ones

People make judgements about you, that you need a partner, even if you are quite content and happy on your own, some will assume you are lonely when you are not or ‘need to be fixed up with someone’, when you didn’t realize you were ever broken…could this day just be over already ?


No matter how irritating it is, or what absurd things your friends and family might say to you, keep in mind, their intentions are good and they really just want you to be happy.

You don’t have to explain yourself to anyone, ever…it’s no-ones business if you are on your own, voluntarily or not

Let me tell you, being single has plenty of up sides, you don’t have to answer to anyone or put up with others idiosyncrasies, you can do whatever you want, whenever you want, your time is your own, your money and resources are your own, your living space is how you like it, it’s a pretty sweet deal

Take a day to pamper yourself, catch up on some reading, get take out, wine, music, rent a movie, whatever your thing is, make it a day about celebrating you.

You don’t have to bow to the pressure society wants to impose on you, just say no thank you and treat it like any other day if you don’t even want to acknowledge it

If you are someone who would like to be in a relationship and aren’t, ask yourself why you are not…do you like yourself? Are you someone you would date?  Ask yourself why you need a partner to be happy…. if you aren’t happy with yourself, why would you expect others to be?  Happiness can  not be found externally, it comes from within, from learning to like/love yourself and appreciate the things that are great about you, once you get to this realization, that you don’t need someone else to make you happy, chances are you will exude happiness & confidence and people will be naturally drawn to you and want to be around you

Do you make it a priority to find a partner or do you expect one to come to you? Do you repeat the same habits over and over again? If you do, you can pretty much expect the same results


Maybe you need to work on a few things about yourself? Do you put time and care into taking the very best care of yourself you can?  Are your expectations too high or unrealistic?  Do you date people you know aren’t available or right for you?

Get real with yourself and start working on yourself, your priority list, visualize it happening and take steps to make it happen.  Chances are mr/ms charming isn’t going to miraculously find you and come charging into your bedroom on a white stallion

People attain what they spend most of their time and energy thinking about and acting on…if work is your only focus, start focusing on finding someone and make it a higher priority.  Be the kind, considerate loving open minded person you are hoping to find

Valentine’s Day doesn’t have to be a bust, make it a day where you spend time doing things you haven’t had time to do that make you feel good in your own company




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